We all know this quote, usually attributed to Alexander Graham Bell, “when a door closes, another opens. But the full quote is much deeper than this:
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has
opened for us.” (emphasis added)
You know you’ve done this. As much as you can think that you have moved on, sometimes you look back and think about the “what if.” What if I would have said it/done it differently. What if I would have gotten that job/opportunity/made that change. Here’s the thing. Once the door is closed the question is, “are you through the door or still standing in the same room?”. I want to propose to you that when a door closes we are facing it from the other side and we are staring at it instead of turning around and looking into what the future holds. You are not trapped. Its’s just that you are still not facing the right direction.
So why don’t we turn around? I would argue that the main reason is tied to those “what ifs” we long for. Think about it. Even if you get what you most want you still wonder what else could be out there. When you feel like the door has been slammed in your face you stare at it and go through an exercise of self-evaluation, maybe blame yourself or others, then go through the grieving process. All this while not turning around to see what’s ahead.
Here’s my suggestion, take a moment and breathe, then do think about your “what if.” But only stay here for a designated period of time. This time will vary based on how you feel. Do put a timer on it because this will be key in your ability to move forward. Once your “time out” has elapsed, turn around and see what’s ahead. Maybe that slammed door is a huge favor that gives you the closure (punt intended) to move away from that part of our life and into the next path. Windows are even better. A window opens lets you fly!!! So don’t think “well it was not a door but I’ll take the window.” In my experience when a window open your are being gifted the ability fly into a future that is brighter and better only if you stop staring at that door next to the window.
So, what door knob are you still trying to twist open? Time to let go and look around you. Greater things are meant for you than what’s behind that door.