Oftentimes we rely on others to tell us what we are worth. We look at how our actions, accomplishments and ideas are received. We mistake opinion for value and feel less than when it’s not what we thought it would be. In a society where instant feedback lives in likes and emojis we really must work harder at knowing our value. But how do you know without feedback?
• Keep it real: Last week we talked about authenticity. That is the ultimate way to keep it real. Think about it this way- when you are your whole self and do not compromise your values, emotions, goals and dreams for others then you are in a place of self-love and acceptance.
• Hold yourself up to your standards: As humans we have our own internal compass of values and standards. We tend to hold them up and judge others under these rules. But what happens when we are honest with ourselves and hold ourselves accountable and leave everyone else out of it? Suddenly, we are in growth mode to improve/better ourselves in a way that satisfies our spirit versus projecting out judgment. You know what you are worth because you walk your walk and talk your talk. No one can do you better than you can.
• Honor yourself: Affirm each day what you are worth. This is an exercise in internal gratitude. We spend so much time telling ourselves what we do “wrong” that we forget all the things that we are doing well. Each morning tell yourself the truth- You are a fantastic human being that has done so much already and is doing so much more today. Love yourself enough to be enough. When you are in this space you will find that your value is more than what others think, your value is inherent and non-negotiable.
So now that you know what you are worth, what do you do with it? Use it as your compass to determine how you treat yourself, how you want to be treated and who/what you spend your time on. Suddenly you won’t have a tolerance (or better yet- not care) when the hatters come around trying to tell you your worth. You will be able to hear opinions for what they are worth, perceptions, and you will be able to more easily decide if they are valid for you or not.
PS. There is a lot of content in today’s blog that focuses on you. Some may read this and say, “this is fine, but we must also focus on others.” I am of the opinion that you can not effectively focus on others until you are clear in who you are, what you are worth and what you bring to the table to help others. Self-work does not happen at the cost of supporting the world but should happen before you can support others. So do the self-work first because you can’t hold others up if you don’t hold yourself up first.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” – Maya Angelou