We love to measure things.  After-all, there is that saying (or some version of it) “if you didn’t measure/write it, then it didn’t happen.”  So how do you measure your success?
When thinking about success, we tend to lean back into the things that others can see:
• Did I get promoted
• Did I get a raise
• Did I get recognition, Did I win

We discount the things that can be seen but we don’t generally talk about:
• With that promotion, did you get less time at work?
• With that raise, did you improve your life or spend more?
• With that recognition, did you pay it forward/give credit to your team, coworkers etc.?

You work hard, do charity work, do your homework because you work and go to school, take care of your kids, significant others, parents, etc. Then it’s your turn………Well, guess what, you are doing it wrong.
There is a reason why during the safety briefing on a plane they tell you “put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.” You are no go to those around you if you are not at your best. Being at your best requires self care. And here is a tip: self care is not selfish. Putting others first, and not taking care of you is not selfless either.
Self care means different things to different people. From taking quiet time, meditating, having a routine for your bath/shower, massage, full blown spa day or just taking a walk in nature, your self care needs to be something that:

• Is meaningful to you: Do what makes you feel good, relax and center yourself. Don’t do something because it’s popular or others are saying it’s what you should do.
• Makes you feel positive feelings: Joy, happiness, relaxation, balance.
• Gets you ready for the next thing: This means that there is a purpose to your activity. And yes, just being by yourself, doing quiet time does have purpose, just be clear about what it is.
• Plan it out: Being intentional helps to set your brain to know it's time for you.
• Tell those around you: People can’t respect your space or boundaries if they do not know where they are. I’m not saying they need to buy in. I’m saying, set your intention, speak your intention so others know to respect your time, then take time to self care. If they don’t approve, that’s their issue. You need to do you.

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So, what’s your self care plan? Mine is spelled out on what my husband and I call the “family calendar”. I have yoga, intention setting session and dinner with friends all in the next 2 weeks.

Do you ever feel like you are pushing against a current?  You want something but feel like you are fighting all the way to get there with little to no help or support?  In turn, have you ever experienced when things just happen as if by magic?  Everything aligns and comes easily.  These are the opposite ends of what I call “being in the flow.”

So what is “the flow?”  Think of your life journey as a river.  Some areas run fast and other slow with pebbles and obstacles.  Some are like water rapids.  You are on the raft/canoe/wheel barrel riding down this river.  Your job is to identify the current and be part of it, paddle to jump into a different current or paddle against the current. 

When I am speaking with people that are struggling with making changes or deciding what to do next his I often hear: “well if I’m padding and feel resistance because I want to change direction that is a good thing right?”  “I should have to fight to make a change.”  “Change is not easy so it should feel a little like a struggle, right?”  My answer to these questions and statements is NO, absolutely NOT. 

Here is the thing.  Being in the flow is a way for the universe, spirit or whatever is out there to help you know the difference between a good thing, a bad thing and a great thing.  We have free will and so with that comes the paddle you use to steer.  However, when you are going towards something great, that is for your highest and best interest, you don’t have to paddle much.  It just happens for you.  You are in the flow.

When you are moving towards a new current, yes you paddle, but there are intersecting points that move you towards that new current faster, more effectively and with less strife or work.  Do it too early and it can be more difficult, do it too late and you might miss the current altogether.  So how do you know when it’s time?  Yeah I’m getting a little metaphysical here- listen to the signs.  Here’s what I mean: