Once in a while I will have someone that books an appointment to plot out their career. This to me is always a very interesting conversation. Most people will come in and say " I have career aspirations. I would like to be in x position in the next 2 years." Some even follow up with their big career dream "I want to run the company someday."
Career paths are riddled with twists, turns and some setbacks or pauses. It's not a straight road and sometimes the path may not have even been paved yet. Because career pathing can be tricky I like to hear a person out on what their vision is and then ask:
If you look at your career path without titles or names, what does it look like? Are you helping people? Are you creating something? At what scale? Where in the world? To me these questions get to the core of who you want to be in your career. No title needed. And the byproduct is that you feel more fulfilled because you are in your sweet spot. So, what's your career path without the titles? Who are you in that space and how does it support and enrich the rest of your life?
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When was the last time you really stepped out and explored one of your “crazy” ideas. Maybe you want to start a business, write a book, do something in fashion or entertainment. What’s stopping you? I have had several mentees lately talk through why they are not following their passions. The most consistent responses are: “it’s not realistic,” “I’m too busy,” “it’s not a real job.”
When you really think about these reasons, it all boils down to them not being comfortable and maybe even feeling like they will not be accepted if they change direction. In a previous blog I talked about how to overcome some of the fears. Today we are going to talk about removing the Why Not. So first things first. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you don’t try? Unless it’s jumping off a plane with no parachute then really it’s something better than death. If the issue is that your idea is outside the norm, then really it’s more about you deciding to be your whole authentic self versus trying to please others. Second, what’s a real job anyway??? In today’s day and age, a real job is anything you want it to be. It might be in a corporate role but more and more people are paving their own way, thriving and dare I say making a good living following their passions. Finally, ask yourself, if you executed on your idea or passion, how would you feel? Happier? Fulfilled? Whole? That is they key question and what should really drive your decision. Your fulfillment is not selfish, it benefits you and let’s you lead a full life. It benefits those around you because you will be happier and great to hang out with! So, get out there and LEAD your life. When you do, others will follow. P.s. don’t worry about the haters. That’s their karma, not yours to deal with. Not everything in life happens the way we plan or expect. Life is a journey riddled with twists and bends, sometimes cliffs that require leaps of faith and the never-ending forks on the road. Our ability to flex, bend and leap are part of what makes it either interesting, nerve pinching or peaceful. Recently I have spent time looking at my life, its direction and whether I need to make adjustments. For me, that can be difficult. I am a high-risk taker that finds herself in a time where life is at a lull. Great family, good friends, a fantastic husband and suddenly, I went from taking big leaps to sticking to the path.
As I am evaluating where I am, I am asking myself these questions:
For me this internal dialogue is ongoing. This conversation with my inner self is bringing out a version of me that I did not know was there- and I like her. This “new” inner me is more confident, and while not entirely satisfied with where I am at today, I can see where I would like to be, and I am making plans. So, when was the last time you talked with your inner self? Maybe its time for a re-introduction. You might find that, like me, there is someone there that is itching for a heart to heart talk. Hi. I’m Delpha. That’s me, at work, on any given weekday. My schedule consists of meetings, helping others make decisions and supporting teams when takings risks. I also spend a great deal of time mentoring, coaching and sometimes giving tough love. Whenever someone new comes to my office, the first thing they ask is: how did you get to where you are at today? Frankly, it’s a long story but the simple answer is that one day I made a choice, the following day I made another and so on. Some of those choices were about work. Others were about looking around my life and deciding that change was warranted. There were happy decisions, really hard decisions and some were no brainers.
In all of that I have come to one conclusion. I “Lead” my life. All of it, not just at work but in all facets. We spend a lot of time talking, coaching and teaching others to be “leaders” at work when in reality, leadership is a choice that encompasses the totality of our lives. So today I launch this page for all of those who ask “how do I get to where you are at?” My answer is: Let’s talk about how you are “Leading” in your life. |
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